My First DUI Screening Test Experience

I took another trip to Riverside which I will post about soon.

(Photo I took on the freeway on the way home)

However, something that happened after the trip seems way more important for myself to tell, and is probably way more interesting to you, the reader.

I woke up around 2:00am after a large consumption of alcohol throughout the day.

I had started drinking around 5-5:30pm and stopped somewhere around 9pm.

I was drinking a bunch of Absolut Vodka.

 I took off back to the desert shortly after waking up.


I had class at 8am!

I was already driving the city streets of my town when I noticed what looked like cop lights behind me.

I'll admit, I was probably going a little fast.

• It was after 3am. 
• I was extremely tired.
• I had class in a few hours
• And I had to get home to my little man:

I slowed down a bit, until I was going 45.

That's when I realized that the car got behind me (it was in the middle lane before while I was in the far right.)

Giant ass lights that looked like a Lite Brite were bursting through my rear view mirror like fireworks!!

OOOOOOOH, MAN!!

 
 I thought.


Not again!! 
I JUST got a ticket last month, and my mom was FURIOUS.
Our insurance quotes are always high because of me and my tickets.

Plus I had been drinking!!

There were 2 police officers.

I pulled over into the bus stop lane.

One came up to the window.

"Where ya comin' from?" he asked.

"Riverside." I answered.

"The reason why we stopped you was because of your speed." he said.

"Speed? I was going 50."

 "We clocked you at 68."

"I was going 50."

"License and registration please."

"Ugh, this is ridiculous. I was going 50."

"Where ya headed?"

"Home."


"What were you doin' up in Riverside?"


"Visiting some friends at UCR. I have class at 8."

"Okay, I smell alcohol. How much you had to drink tonight?"

My heart sank, and my eyes widened.

"I had a beer or two." I replied.


"Okay, well can I have you step out of the car? I just wanna see if you're okay to drive tonight."

Oh, shit!!
This was it!!
This was the moment that I've ALWAYS feared happening!!
Everyone around me got DUI's. 
I saw them on television.

And here I am.
Here it goes.

It was FREEZING outside!!

All I had on was a nylon jacket. 

"I-I-I don't want any problems. Look, I'm just tryna go home. I have class in the morning."

"Okay, okay. I'm just trying to see if you're okay to drive the rest of the way."

That is cops' little trick.

They tell you EVERYTHING is going to be all right. Just to calm you down, when they really have the worst planned for you in their head.

This is it!!

 The cop was rather short. 
He was kind of goober-like as well. 

His partner was on the radio, telling the dispatcher what streets we were on.

NO!! They're calling the tow truck!!

The short cop and I engaged in conversation.
He was pretty cool, but I had my guard up!!

He started asking me questions like,

"What did you have to drink?"
I remember seeing a Mickey's sitting on the counter at Mark's before I left, so I told him that I drank that.
"How much did you have to drink?"
I lied and told him that we split the 40ozs. and poured them into coffee mugs.
"How big were the coffee mugs?" 
"What time did you start?"
"What time did you stop?"
"Did you have anything to eat?"
I lied and said it was a party/barbecue, and that we had burritos.
"What time did you eat?"

The first test was the "Follow my finger with you eyes, but don't move your head" test.

Both cops were an audience for this.
The short cop shined a flashlight in my face, and began moving his finger from side to side and front to back.

I didn't know how they were able to tell how one was inebriated, but I thought I was doing okay.

The second test was the "Stand on one leg, any leg of your choice, and lift the other one up. Hands by your side, and count for as long as I tell you like, 'one-one thousand, two-one thousand..." test.

This one was only slightly difficult.

I leaned over a few times, and almost fell.
My leg kept trembling, but I kept it together!! 

The third test was the "Put your feet together, hands by your side, index fingers pointed out, and when I say 'right,' touch your nose with your right index finger. When I say 'left,' touch your nose with your left index finger" test.

This one was the easiest.

He tried to switch it up like, "Right, left, right, left, right, right, left, right, left, left."

I did an A+

The whole time throughout the tests, both cops were really cool. Asking me questions about school, talking about how pretty UCR is.
Telling me that I should transfer, and follow my dreams. 

The fourth and final test was, dun, Dun, DUN...THE BREATHALYZER!!

"Okay, so the last test we're gonna do is the breathalyzer."

My eyes widened.

"Now, you don't have to do this one, you can decline, but it would help me make my final judgment. Do you wanna help me do that?"

"Wait. So, I don't have to do it?"

I was getting extremely nervous. I had a decent amount of Vodka. More than a decent amount as a matter of fact.

"You don't have to, but it would help me make my decision blah, blah, blah..."

I turned around to find the other officer with the glasses, holding a breathlyzer and a mouth piece still in a package.

"What's going on?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"OKAY, I'll do it!!"

"You wanna help me out?" the short officer asked.

"Would it make a difference if I said no?"

"Well, you can if you want." 

"Let's just get it over with." 

"Judging by your other tests, I don't think you're- I think you're okay." he said.

Well, that made me feel a lot better.

But I was still extremely nervous. 

I'm just going to barely blow into this thing, I thought.

"Okay, take a deep breath, and blow into the machine until I tell you to stop."

I blew short puffs.

"Okay, you gotta really blow," the short cop said as he took the breathlyzer away, "Now, take a deep breath."

I blew a little more air than the previous time, but I barely blew again.

"You're not blowin'," the cop with the glasses said.

I was beginning to feel violated.

"Look, I think you're okay. Just blow into the machine," the short cop said again. 

I blew real hard into the machine until it beeped.

"See?" the short cop put the breathlyzer out, and stood next to me so that we could both see it.

An arrow kept moving from side to side for a few seconds.

The screen then read, "0.018%"

California Law is 0.08%

I passed!!

Even though I'm underage.

"Okay, looks like everything's good. You can go back and sit in your car now."

And I shimmied back to my car.

It was freezing!!
I just KNEW they were writing a ticket. They took forever.

The other officer with the glasses came up to my window, with, indeed, a ticket.

"Is there anything I can do about this ticket?" I asked.

"Look, we're cutting you a break. You're underage, you're not supposed to have any alcohol in your system at all. We know you turn 21 in a few months, and suspending your license for a year would really throw you behind in school."

"I know, but I just got insurance!!"

"Look, we're cutting you a break....." I knew I wasn't going to win. "Slow down out there, we got chu goin' 68 in a 50. In a few months, you can party it up."

I tried to thank the cop, and tell him that he and the short cop were different from all the other cops, and not douches, but he kind of blew me off and walked away.

That was it.
  
And voila!!
Here I am!!

No, DUI.
But ANOTHER speeding ticket.
Don't know HOW I'm going to tell my mom.

Officers, Rivera and Peno are my friends now!!