Jersey Bore

Okay, so I know I'm way late, but I have to talk about this annoying pain in my life.

The show, Jersey Shore.

Now, I know some readers may actually like this show, but I'm sure you would agree with me on a few things.

Jersey Shore is definitely getting old.

The same people, the same drama.

I can only watch so much.

And reality television is my guilty pleasure!!

 MTV has a similar show that has been running for about 25 or 26 seasons now.

The Real World

(Real World: Hollywood)

The producers of the show also produce Oxygen's, Bad Girls Club

Both shows are pretty much the same concept as Jersey Shore.

The only difference is, I can actually tolerate them.

They're way more interesting, because, well,for one thing, they change the cast.

New cast, new drama.


Even if it's the same drama, it's different people reacting in different ways, so it's way more entertaining.


You already know who is going to be on the cast each new season of Jersey Shore.

The cast should also be more like a family unit, hell they've been living with each other on and off for years now. How much arguing can they actually do now?


It's just gonna get more petty, and more petty.


And I don't EVER like admitting when I discover that a reality show may be written or scripted (Operation Repo, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, etc.) but I'm honestly starting to feel that way on this one.


All of a sudden Mike is interested in kissing Snooki on the first episode of Season 4??


Where did THAT come from, writers for Mtv?

Bash me if you want, this is just my opinion.

I don't think I'll be tuning in for this season.

Natural Resources Final Fail

I hate having nice professors, but hard work.

It’s bittersweet.

My professor has been so lenient, laid back, and chill all semester long. So much so, that he never failed to put me to sleep (although that is partly my fault.)

Because he wasn’t an enthusiastic nor interesting professor, I kept forgetting homework assignments. But lucky for me, he accepted everything late. 

Even if it was months later.

However, the man’s tests are ridiculous. 

He told me I needed to get a solid C on the final in order to pass the class. (I’m already planning to retake it in the Fall.)

He told us “everything” we needed to know for the final. I studied, and remembered A LOT more than I ever have in the class.

Only to discover that the final had nearly NOTHING to do with anything I studied.

I spoke with other students, and they all said the same thing.

AND THEY HAD THE SAME NOTES!! So, I know it’s not me.

Some people need to realize that not everyone is in the class to know all about it, and switch it to their major.

SOME OF US JUST NEED THE CREDIT.

I’m taking his wife next semester. Had her for Lab. You can’t text or sleep in her class, but I hear she gives out study guides…

Losing Bin Laden

Hopefully everyone has heard by now about the loss of the infamous, international terrorist and front man of al Qaeda, Osama Bin Laden.

I personally have no comments about the death.

I feel that NO  death should necessarily be celebrated.

EVER.

What kind of evil is that?

If you are secretly pleased about the passing of another individual, then you should simply enjoy it in your own head and smile to yourself about it.

Not go out and announce it.

Osama was not doing much good with his life, and probably had hundreds of plans to do harm to people.

The man was pure evil.

If anything, everyone should feel sorry for the guy.

He lived a life of hate, and that's all he ever knew.

He died an unhappy life hiding in hatred.

It's sad...

 Osama was apparently killed by U.S. forces, and his body  is now in the hands of the country.

I read on a Facebook post that al Qaeda plans to use nuclear weapons if Bin Laden is ever captured or killed, and OF COURSE I did some research.

'Tis true!!

Such a thing was reported sometime within the last two weeks.

Al Qaeda plans to attack the major countries and continents: Asia, Africa, Great Britain, and the U.S.!!    

Why?

I have no idea.

We can only hope and pray that doesn't happen.

Supposedly the nuclear weaponry is stashed somewhere in Europe.

I'm sure everyone can assume that al Qaeda will not stop, but who ever said they would?

They won't stop.....right away that is.

You see, Bin Laden was the ring leader.

And without their ring leader, al Qaeda is unorganized.

They're scattering ants!!

Osama was calling all the shots.

This spells D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R for al Qaeda and the Taliban.

Eventually, they will be so unorganized without their precious Bin and go down altogether.

Too much chaos in the world today....

But I heard an opinion worth repeating: the government is trying to divert the attention of America from it's fucked up economy to something "good" that they've done (which is killing Osama Bin Laden.)

Not too sure if I completely agree with this idea, but it does cause one to think, n'est-ce pas?

Anyway, let's not forget about other pressing matters:

 

Will the World Really Look at Snooki?

Snooki, you are not intellectual reading THAT  book, sorry.

And what's this about your book coming out?

 

Why?

Nothing you do or say is benefiting this earth, so why?

Who the hell says they're looking for a "gorilla juicehead?"

Sure, you're funny here and there on television (every blue moon that I watch your stupid show,) but I wouldn't pay to read what you have to say.

Especially not while it's out in hardcover.

Lindsay Lohan, Your Daddy Needs Help

I'm not too sure what Michael Lohan is famous for besides being the father of a fuck up.

But his name has popped up on 2 reality shows of the same franchise.

The Real Housewives franchise at that.

Now, what IS this man doing exactly?

You've got a wild and crazy daughter in and out of rehab, always acting a DAMN FOOL.

Then you've got another one trying to be like that damn fool.

And you've got an  ex-wife whose actions and personality speak for themselves.

Your hands are full, what are you doing on the Real Housewives?

You need to be on the Real Fathers of the Wild and Crazy American Teen, and whoop their asses !!

First time around, we saw Mr. Lohan back in '08 or '09 on season 2 of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

The very first and second episodes to be exact.

The infamous scene were Kim Zolciak, one of the Atanta housewives, is being chased out of a restaurant and down the street by co stars, NeNe Leakes and Sheree Whitfield.

Lohan is seen sitting with Zolciak inside the restaurant, and he sort of plays Captain Save-a-Hoe outside when Zolciak is crying after Whitfield tried to pull her wig off.

Leakes is seen chasing the two yelling, "Wait Lindsay Lohan Daddy!! You take yo' ass back to Malibu!!" 

It is rumoured that the two were having a make-out session on the street right after the incident takes place.

Zolciak denies it, however.

Moving along, there was Lohan's most recent (and the exact reason why I wrote this blog) housewives hookup.

The Real Trrashy Housewives of New Jersey's, Kim G.!!

Okay, she's not even a housewife officially yet, but she was featured on the show enough to be an honorary housewife.

Kim G.

What else has Michael got to lose now?

 You tell me.

He has completely lost his mind!!

(And so has Kim)

They are so desperate for attention, that they go well together actually.

And last but not least, Lohan is rumored to be on the upcoming Celebrity Rehab with, you guessed it, another BLONDE houswife!!

This time, The Real Housewives of Washington D.C.'s Michaele Salahi!!

You know, the woman who infamously crashed a White House party alongside her husband, and tried to sell their interview with President Obama afterward.

The couple also just recently crashed the Superbowl party held at the Dallas stadium after this year's Superbowl.

Brave couple, those two.

Anyway, I don't know what the deal is with Michael Lohan and blonde women on the Real Housewives.

All I know is he needs help.

Lindsay Lohan, your daddy needs help.

But at least Kim G. has big bucks rolling in. 

  

My Hair is Alive

As you may already know from my previous post, my pompadour was believed to be killed by a harsh chemical and an occupied mother.

However, it's good news day here, I'm afraid.

After my classes today, I went home and began looking for an example of how I wanted my hair cut to take down to the beauty school where Porsha, a good friend of mine and my cousins', attends. 

Porsha is the lovely woman responsible for my hairstyle.

She was the first person to ever do my hair that way.

I texted Porsha asking if she would be available for the day or the next. 

She told me to come at 4.

It was already a little before 2 I believe.

I still had time to decide what I wanted to do.

I asked all of my Facebook friends, and I got various different responses.

(I will NEVER wear a mullet!!)

The most appealing to me was: "...It's because of the fact that you just relaxed it that it's not styling right but after you wash your hair a couple times it should be good."

I took these words of advice and washed my hair 3 times in a row, with 2 different types of shampoo.

And I must have conditioned 6 different times with 3 different conditioners.

Once I blow dried my hair, I could already see the thickness that was once there before I re-relaxed it.

AND VOILA!!

I styled it and the pompadour was back!!

Just hours before I was going in to chop it all off.

It's still a little thin and floppy, but it's coming back.

Relaxers are bittersweet.

They help, yet prevent.

And as for accusing my mother, I somewhat apologize.

Hair or no hair, MY SCALP WAS ON FIRE!!

And once again:

I'm Losing My Hair

As a lot of people who know me know that I've been sporting my famous pompadour for a while now.

The pompadour hairstyle was brought to fame and named after King Louis XV of France's mistress (or one of them at least) Madame de Pompadour.

Although I've yet to see a picture of her actually sporting it.

It was probably most famous in the 40's and 50's.

Anyway, due to unfortunate events, I've had to make one of the hardest decisions of mon vie.

Yesterday, I asked my mother to put a perm/relaxer on my head.

If you're not familiar, you probably aren't black, but we use it basically as a chemical straightener you could say.

You are not to scratch your head before putting one on, as it will burn your scalp.

You are not to dye your hair for about 2 weeks before or after a perm (if you're black, of course) as it will cause your hair to fall out.

Well, I just wanted a quick perm to give my hair some extra oomph.

Problem is, my mother started engaging in a conversation JUST AS my scalp started to burn.

I called her, and called her, and called her.

She kept yelling back that she was looking at her shoes that just came in the mail, or the water wasn't warm enough for her to rinse it out yet.

Um, how does SHE know it's not WARM enough, it's MY head that's going to feel it!!

Eventually, I had to start rinsing it out myself. 

Having never done this, and my hair being on FIRE I was extremely nervous!!

I couldn't take it anymore, and I had just started rinsing it out.

I immediately applied shampoo, and all I can hear is my mother:

"You put shamPOO?!! NOT YET!! Don't you know how to rinse?"

Well, excuse me,  I asked for your help earlier!!

When the time came to ACTUALLY put the shampoo on, my head was sizzling from burning so bad and having water on it.

When the shampoo made contact with my scalp, it was a feeling that I NEVER want to feel again.

Just kill me first.

As well as when I applied conditioner.  

THREE DIFFERENT TYPES TOO!!

My hair didn't really do what I wanted yesterday, so I woke up this morning hoping to try again.

I did my hair as soon as the relaxer was removed, so I figured that had something to do with it. 

But now I'm confused.

My hair is so thin and relaxed now, that it won't even stick up!!

I'm black!!

That's not supposed to happen.

Now, I don't know WHAT to do.

I believe it is just fried along with my scalp.

I'm in so much SHOCK.

The only thing I can think of is to cut it into another style.

It sucks, but I can't go around looking like Shaka-Zulu.

And remember: