Do Not Cosign

So, I write for my school's newspaper, The Chaparral, and I am also the editor of the Entertainment page.

It has been sort of fun and exciting so far.

Minus the head editors.

The two of them (one male, one female) are on their high horses, and they need someone to knock them off.

And I think it's my destiny.

To protect their identities, I will name the female,  Athena, and the male, Zeus.

Athena thinks EVERY guy wants her.

Supposedly, they're ALWAYS staring at her.

She says that every story that is turned into her to edit for the paper sucks.

As if she writes PERFECT stories!!

She is also embarrassed of her own race!!

Her mother is half Native American and half caucasian.

Her father is black.

She always tells us not to interview the black guys for the question of the week for the school paper.

Why?

 I have an idea: She's embarrassed to be black!!

She says you can't understand them with their "dirty south" accents (a lot of the football players at school are southern).

Who cares?!

How ignorant.

She's one of them Orange County gals so it makes sense.

And p.s. You're not cool because your dad is a has been television star.

Zeus is a two-faced, kiss ass.

He'll talk major head behind your back, and ask you if everything is cool the next day.

At least Athena didn't try to act fake. She and I are just cordial. I don't think we like each other.

But Zeus? No.

He wants to be a trash talker AND your friend.

He thinks he writes the best stories as well.

He thinks he's cool since he knows people who I graduated with.

Always telling me about how he's going to hang out with them blah, blah, blah.

Listen up, Zeus: I didn't talk to those people in high school!!! 

I could care less!!

And p.s. That girl doesn't want you. You do not have a chance. So stop clinging onto her.

I never really liked the two from jump street.

I just tolerated them at first.

Until their asses wanted to get rowdy with me in front of the WHOLE class (all 10 of us that is).

They want us to turn in our stories earlier than needed to make their lives easier. Um no. 

Athena decided to attack me out of the blue one day.

Athena:

"Erik, do you have your story?"

"Erik, I think I'm going to write your story for you."

Erique, Jr.:

"Why would you write my story for me?"

Athena:

"Because you're always picking your nose, messing around, and I want it to get done."

First of all, this was 3 days prior to the story deadline.

Second, I may the class clown, BUT I GET MY SHIT DONE!!

Remember that!!

So, we began to argue.

Normally I get rowdy fast, but I was calm.

She threw stuff, and started yelling and cursing!!

The whole class was now quiet and staring. 

Some laughing.

Zeus decided to break it up.

Which is fine.

HOWEVER, he ALSO decided to put his two cents in.

Listen up Zeus: DO NOT COSIGN!!

If you're not going to evenly break up an argument, then don't make it seem like you are.

If you're there to cosign, you're there to cosign.

However, you made the mistake of cosigning on an argument with me.

No, sir.

The situation ended with her taking my story to write, and her giving me another story to write instead.

I was a little upset so I was just sitting in silence while the rest of the class was working on their pages.

Every couple of minutes, Zeus would look over and whisper: "Erik"

When I would look, he'd raise his eyebrows, and move his hands in a writing motion.

I do not need you telling me what to do!!

I just got the story 10 minutes ago!!

Do you honestly think I'm going to have it done by TODAY let alone THIS CLASS PERIOD?

HELL TO THE NAW!!

After class, my English class was canceled, so I went to the parking lot to go home.

I ran into some friends and began to tell them the story VERY loudly.

Little did I know,  Zeus was getting high in a car near me in the parking lot.

I didn't care, however.

I escalated my voice, cupped my hands over my mouth, and began shouting all my feelings towards the car he was in.

I found out later via text messages that Zeus and Athena went back into the classroom and went on a couple different rants about me.

Then asked people not to tell me.

Sorry, Greek Gods, I'm well liked.

I'm going to find out.

The next class period a few days later, I was cordial to Athena and she was cordial to me.

I'm sure we both feel the same way about each other, but we keep it to ourselves.

Zeus had to do the whole handshake and ask if everything is cool.

FAKE!!

Don't bring that BS here.

Then later, in our night class, he brought the incident up.

"I broke you guys up didn't I?" he asked.

"If you call it that." I replied.

Thank Heavens our mutual friend (who was mentioned earlier as the girl he clings to) was there and she cosigned for ME this time saying, "Or did you choose a side?"

Zeus couldn't even answer.

They think they do SO much for the paper.

They write small, simple stories, the rest of us write stories.

They help form the pages, we help form the pages.

They hand out the papers during class in the heat, we hand out the papers during class in the heat.

Zeus takes the paper to be published. (WOOH!)

And they both "edit" the stories sent in by us and the other journalism class.

However, THERE ARE ALWAYS TYPOS AND OTHER MISTAKES!!

So, what DO they do as head editors?

You've got me.

One girl called them out on the errors in the stories after the "editing."

Athena's response was, "I look for little grammatical errors. You should know how to write a story."

I stayed out of this one because it didn't involve me.

However, I had to bite my tongue hard.

YOU took on the job as head editor.

OWN UP TO YOUR MISTAKES!!

BOTH OF YOU!!

DON'T PUSH IT ALL ON EVERYONE ELSE!!

No one even likes you two.

They just tolerate your cockiness and your ignorance.

You ain't nothing to me, and you never will be!!

And once again: DO NOT COSIGN!!

Where Do We Stand?

We all know about the horrible earthquake over in Haiti.

Of course the nice thing to do is help out.

I really hope I do not offend anyone in this post, but I am tired of America rushing to the aid of others with their own are in need of help.

Haiti's crisis is unbelievable. The death count alone will have a person shiver.

I was not surprised when former leaders, present leaders, celebrities, and everyday citizens began donating to help out the country.

I was, however, surprised at HOW MUCH money was donated.

I felt terrible for our southerners when Hurricane Katrina happened.

But it seemed like no one else in the country did.

Those people were left helpless in big groups in closed areas.

Hurricane Katrina victims are still suffering today.

Is anyone helping them?

Is anyone even stopping to think about them?

Here we are in a recession.

An economic crisis.

But yet we're able to donate millions of dollars to a foreign country.

But when our country's money situation is not bad yet and  we have our own tragedy , America can't help out?

I had family over in Mississippi when the hurricane hit.

I had also lived there years ago, so this is kind of sentimental to me.

A victim and her family are still living in my family's double wide out in Mississippi.

I am not trying to imply that we shouldn't help other countries out.

I just don't like when people say things like, "Well, we are one of the richest countries in the world. It's our responsibility to help others."

Did God put Americans on this earth just to be rich and help out?

No.

We would have more morals as a country if that were the case.

We'd even be more stable.

Haiti is getting a lot of attention in America for what has happened.

I bet before this most Americans never even heard of the country.

Haiti gets a Hope Concert, and many other charities and donations.

Where was all of this money when we were drowning in New Orleans?

Not to mention that China helped out with donating money to Hurricane Katrina.

However, when they have an earthquake, the U.S. forked over some chub change, and basically gave the rest to Haiti.

Back stab to China, I think.

I just wanted to bring this subject to the attention of others.

What's more, celebrities and others alike just love going to foreign countries to adopt children.

Listen up, America: You want a black baby?

They're right in your neighborhood.

Longing for a family.

But they don't get one, because people are too busy going elsewhere.


You have to be a certain age to adopt a child in the U.S.
Sometimes you have to also be married.


But since they're not chosen as often, black children in the U.S. can be adopted by younger, single people.


How would you feel being a orphan, and knowing people out there want you, but would rather go to another country to do so?


Very tacky.


As I said before, don't get me wrong, I am not trying to prevent foreign aid in this country.


I just ask: How are we able to help others when we can't even help ourselves?

America is Sexist

I'm not one to be violent towards women. However, why is it a rule that men shouldn't?

Women back in the day fought for all of this equality. And with all this Rosy the Riveter "We can do it!" hype, you'd think women would want to EQUALLY equal to men.

BUT, that's not the case. And America is not helping one bit.

If a man is caught peeping through a woman's window he will be called a "peeping tom" and be arrested. If a woman is caught peeping through a man's window he could still be arrested for "indecent exposure." NOT FAIR.

Then there's all this violence stuff. Women are allowed to hit men all they like. Sure they'll be taken to jail if anyone would like to press charges, however it's not that big of a deal. It's the same as if a woman were to strike another woman.

But when a man hits a woman? WATCH OUT. Everyone is going to go crazy. It's the worst thing a man can do. Why? If a woman is costantly smacking you, do you not have the right to defend yourself? Pushing can only do so much when she is lunging at you.

I'm not saying that if a man feels the need to smack a girl to just go out and do it.

It's just not clicking to me why women want all this equality, and dish it out, but can't take it.

(This is not referring to all women because I'm sure some of you agree).

I'll also bring up some unfair examples:

1. 
   
   Chris Brown got a lot of crap for what he did to Rihanna. I don't necessarily agree with what he did. (Although I do think she must've been doing something she had no business). He took it a bit far, and he suffered for it. BIG TIME.
2. 
   
   Then there's Liza Minelli. She beat her husband on a regular basis. Where's her criticism?
3. 
   
   Then there's Tiger Woods in his situation. Everyone can come to the same conclusion that his wife was beating him up, and THAT'S WHY he crashed into that tree and fire hydrant, because he was trying so frantically to get away from her. Instead of her going to jail or getting criticism for her actions, everyone is more focused on what he did to deserve it. (No one cared to bring up what Rihanna must've been doing). And Tiger's wife also is being backed by females. Saying her actions were justifiable.
4. 
   
   THEN there's the Jersey Shore incident mentioned before. People are hitting eachother left and right on the show. They don't get no crap. But the one time a man stikes a woman, all hell breaks loose!! JWOWW (a cast member of the show) is clearly seen striking the man repeatedly afterward. Did she go to jail with him? No.

I'm sure my point is being taken into consideration now with my 4 examples.

I'll say it again:

I'M NOT SUGGESTING MEN SHOULD HIT WOMEN. I JUST DON'T SEE THEY BIG HYPE WHEN THAT SORT OF SITUATION OCCURS.

Jersey Shore Got Knocked Out

I'm sure everyone has seen or heard about the show, Jersey Shore.

It's another reality show. This one is based on young people spending their summer at the Jersey Shore which is a big deal in the Italian community on the east coast.

There has been a previous exposure of the shore in a True Life episode.

The show is basically an east coast, Italian version of the Real World. It's 8 strangers, living in a nice house, partying, clubbing and driking, and have a secure job.

On episode 4, while the housemates were out having fun, they met some wierd annoying guys yadda, yadda, yadda.

Eventually Mike "the Situation" (..........) is buying drinks for the dumb guys because they kept taking the drinks that Julio, their co worker, was buying for the housemates.

Mike wasn't saying anything to the main guy taking them while Nicole "Snooki" and Julio were.

Snooki keeps talking trash the guy and eventually the man socks her square in the mouth.

Right away everyone begins manhandling him and Jenni "JWOWW" even lands a few punches on him. He is immediately thrown out of the bar and into police custody.

Brad Ferro is a gym teacher from Queens, New York. He just got his certificate for teaching the same month of the incident.

What a dumb man. I'm sure he knew that doing what he did would result in some big trouble. AND I'm sure he notice the big camera crew filming everything before he performed the action.

The girl is like 5 feet tall. Did he really need to do all that?

He's very lucky the police were there to protect him if you ask me, and he was very quick to tell the officer arresting him that he got punched in the face (probably referring to JWOWW's blows).

This incident was very unfortunate for both Brad and Snooki. I'm sure Brad is out of a gym teaching job forever since this is a national television show. (Not to mention a criminal record).

And poor Snooks could barely talk, laugh, eat, and brush her stank teeth.

If it was really that necessary to hit her (which is wasn't because I would've been yelling at him as well) he could have just given her a little shove.

Florence + the Machine- Lungs Album Review

If you like soul, indie, artsy, blues, or all, then you will definately enjoy Florence + the Machine.

Florence Welch is from London. It is said that she was discovered when she dragged her now manager into the bathroom at a club and sang an Etta James song to her.

Florence + the Machine's album, Lungs, is full of creative, fantasy lyrics, a variety of different sounding music (although her voice remains the same wailing), and most importantly A HARP!!

Florence's voice is one of a kind. It's amazing how young, skinny, caucasion girls can sound like big, black women.

 Each track on the album has its own sound. There are already 5 singles off of the 12 track album, with another song that was never released as a single being used for promotion commercials for television shows.

Each track seems to highlight a certain instrument. The lyrics all tell stories with interesting words.

Florence hopes to have a career like Bjork and PJ Harvey.

She has also been compared to Kate Bush.

This has to be one of my all time favorites.

"Designated" Driver

So, a friend of mine texted me at work last night asking what I would be doing for the evening. I had no plans, and I don't necessarily like going to parties, but I had nothing else to do.

I knew he wanted to go to a party, so I said I had no plans. Then he invited me to a party.

He gets to my house, and three other guys hop out of the car, and walk to my car. He didn't even tell me that we were taking mine.

So, I asked if he was driving so that I could drink. He said he would.

I mentioned to everyone that I could not drink too much, and could not be out too late because my mom and I had to wake up early and do some Christmas shopping.

We get to the party, I see old friends (surprisingly because I didn't know anyone), I'm meeting new friends, drinking, hanging out.

All of a sudden I catch my designated driver taking shots!!

I kept scolding him, and the other guys assured me that he wasn't going to be drinking anymore, but I kept catching him. I was already drunk by that time so I believed them.

Then I see him playing Beer Pong. He assured me he wasn't drinking. I was too drunk to pay attention so I didn't notice whether he was lying or not.

Then I begin a game of Beer Pong with one of  my newfound friends against my designated driver, and a pretty girl who was pretty good at the game.

I caught him drinking a few times, and I was getting pissed.

So, I lose and go about my business. The clock strikes 2:30am, and I'm ready to go, but everyone else wasn't.

3:00 came around, one of the guys found another ride home, and the other two were ready to go, I'm asleep at the dining room table, but my designated driver was STILL playing Beer Pong. He kept saying: "After this game, after this game."

So, I had to fight him for my keys to give to one the other guys, because they both "sobered up." He kept arguing saying he was fine to drive, yet he was stumbling, and told me that if we left him he would "be mad."

4:00 comes around, and we're finally able to leave. My now "designated driver" is still trying to convince us that he was okay to drive, but kept trying to get into the passenger seat to drive.

On the way home, the new driver began to swirve. I said "Oh, hell no." and we pulled over and I drove. If anyone was going to swirve in my vehicle it would be me.

So, the "designated driver" was SOOO drunk, that he kept rambling on the whole 30 minute car ride home. He wasn't even making sense.

"See Erik, I wanted to make sure you were good to drive, that's why we waited to drive home."

Whatever he meant by that.

He kept wanting me to stop by Jack in the Box, but I was not having it.

We dropped off one of the guys, and the other said that our "designated driver" would be staying at his place for the night, so that made sense because obviously the sober one could drive "designated"'s car from my house.

We get to my house and "designated driver" gets into his driver seat. He was parked in my spot, so I had to watch them fight over who was driving while I was in park right behind them in front of my house.

Finally, the sober one gave up and got in the passenger seat.

"Designated driver" pulled up REALLY close to my cousin's car who was parralleled parked in front of the neighbor's house in front of my spot.

THEN HE BACKED UP INTO MY SUV!!

Both of them looked back at me, and "designated driver" sped off!!

There was hardly any damage, because my vehicle is so big compared to his. However, the fact is HE HIT IT!!

I didn't have a DD= Designated Driver

I had a DDD= Drunk Designated Driver.

My Favorite Music and Films Are Related

WARNING: This post is picture happy

I just started getting into a new artist, Florence + the Machine. She has an album out, Lungs.

She also has many covers of songs by other artists out all over the internet.

She's covered:

Beirut's Postcards From Italy

Cold War Kids' Hospital Beds

Beyonce's Halo (she loves her some Beyonce)

And Lightspeed Champion's Galaxy of the Lost

She is actually pretty good friends with Devonte Hynes who is Lightspeed Champion and in the band, Test Icicles. He was briefly a member of the Machine in fact.

So, that's just the first sign of how all my music is related. I am a fan of Beirut, Cold War Kids, AND Lightspeed Champion.

Lightspeed Champion is one of my favorite artists, and he did a cover of Gypsy by one of my favorite bands, Fleetwood Mac (pictured below).

He also had members of Tilly and the Wall (pictured below), another one of my favorite bands, doing backup vocals on his first album.

Tilly and the Wall will also be backing vocals on songs on yet another one of my favorite bands, She & Him.

She & Him consists of actress, Zooey Deschanel on vocals, and musician, M. Ward on guitar.

Matt (M. Ward) is a member of another band, Monsters of Folk.

Monsters of Folk consists of Conor Oberst and Mike Mogis, who are in the band, Bright Eyes, Jim James, who is the frontman of My Morning Jacket, and Matt.

Conor has worked with members of Tilly and the Wall with his other band, Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band.

Zooey has starred in 2 of my favorite films:

500 Days of Summer

and Eulogy!!

Zooey did backup vocals on a song of one of my favorite artists, Coconut Records.

Jason Schwartzman (Coconut Records) is an actor as well, and plays in one of my favorite shows that isn't a reality show, Bored to Death.

Zooey is also engaged to Ben Gibbard, who is the frontman of Death Cab For Cutie.

Ben, along with M. Ward and Conor Oberst all did a cover of the Traveling Wilburys' Handle With Care

The cover also included another of my favorite artists, Jenny Lewis, and was featured on her album, Rabbit Fur Coat, with the Watson Twins.

Jenny is the frontwoman of one of my favorite bands, Rilo Kiley.

Guitarist of Rilo Kiley, Blake Sennett, who is an actor, is the frontman of another band, the Elected.

Jenny is a childhood actress who played in a movie I liked to watch growing up, Troop Beverly Hills.

Along with many more movies.

Jenny is dating another of my favorite artists, Johnathan Rice.

Zooey Deschanel also did backup vocals on Jenny Lewis' song, Carpetbaggers, which also features one of my favorite artists, Elvis Costello.

Elvis played in the movie, 200 Cigarettes.

Which also stars another one my favorite artists, Courtney Love.

Courtney also played a small part in one of my favorite films, Sid & Nancy.

And Kevin Bacon's wife in another of my favorite films, Trapped.

Courtney was a brief member of another of my favorite bands, Babes in Toyland, and even had a fued that lasted for years with their frontwoman Kat Bjelland.

Courtney is the frontwoman of one of my all time favorite bands, Hole.

Whose drummer, Patti Schemel went on to briefly play drums in one of my favorite bands, Juliette and the Licks.

I've seen Juliette and the Licks live, and let me tell you, they put on a good show. I didn't get the pleasure of seeing them with Patti though, because she had already left them band.

Their lead singer, Juliette Lewis (do not confuse her with Jenny Lewis) is also an actress.

She played a mentally challenged girl in a movie I liked to watch with my mom as a kid, the Other Sister.

Juliette has also played in Natural Born Killers, many, many other films.

Courtney Love was married to Kurt Cobain of Nirvana, and had a child with him before his suicide.

Nirvana's drummer, Dave Grohl is also the frontman of Foo Fighters, and drummer of Probot (pictured below).

Probot features Lemmy who is the frontman of Motorhead.

Lemmy was also good friends with one of my favorite artists, Wendy O. Williams!!

Wendy fronted my favorite punk rock band, the Plasmatics.

It's amazing how you can take one person or band, and link them to a bunch of your other favorite bands. It's even more amazing how you can link them to your favorite films!!

This was a lot to remember, but I think I remembered to mention everyone.

No, wait!!

Courtney Love beat up Le Tigre frontwoman, Kathleen Hanna (the girl on the far right pictured below).

Kathleen is also married to Adam Horovitz of the Beastie Boys (on the far right pictured below).

I think I've got them all now.

The End.